Prayer of Relinquishment

For me, one of the most troubling aspects of prayer is the question of why some prayers are answered and some are not. Perhaps it troubles you as well. For Quaker minister Richard Foster, the reason some prayer is unanswered or is answered in the negative rests in our humanity. We are finite creatures who cannot in this lifetime fully know the will or purposes of God. 

In “Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home,” Foster speaks of the prayer of relinquishment, which he describes as “a grace-filled releasing of our will and a flowing into the will of the Father.” As an example of this type of prayer, Foster points to Jesus praying passionately and desperately in the Garden of Gethsemane for the suffering of the cross to be removed from him, and then, in almost the same breath, praying for God’s will to be done. Foster writes, “Here we have the incarnate Son praying through his tears and not receiving what he asks. Jesus knew the burden of unanswered prayer.”

Somehow Foster’s words came as a surprise to me. Jesus experienced prayer as I (and perhaps you) have – unanswered or answered contrary to what I would have liked. Somehow I find that  a huge relief.

Later in the chapter on the prayer of relinquishment, Foster outlines five types of prayer within the prayer of relinquishment. His fourth step, the prayer of release, gets to the heart of relinquishment. In it, we place everything into the hands of God – our families and friends, our hopes and dreams, our enemies and angers. We give everything into the care of God and then turn and walk away trusting/knowing/believing that God will care for everything as God sees fit.

This is so hard for us (for me!). We like to be in control. We believe we know what’s best for us and for the world around us, and we want to call the shots. The prayer of relinquishment teaches us to rest in God’s care, to fall back into the arms of God with a resounding “ahhh,” and to know that God is in control.

What has the Holy Spirit been instilling in you about prayer this month as we focus on finding Emmanuel in prayer? Finding time and space? Using words or music or movement? For me, one of the reminders has been to rest in God’s care, to trust that the Holy Spirit is at work in my life, in your lives, and in the world around us. 

I’d love to hear how the Holy One has been at work in you.

Peace,

Pastor Karen